Saturday, June 28, 2008

Why Must My Dreams Remind Me

So I have been doing pretty good not thinking about the Tetanus vaccine I am getting this fall. Every time I have a scary thought about it I quickly think of something else. I try not to dwell on it.

Last night however I had this dream I went to the doctors office and the nurse I see gave me the vaccine...well first lets my dream I had a doctors appointment to get the vaccine at 4pm. Then I realized it was 4:15pm so I was late and the office closes at 5pm. So I very quickly took a shower and ate something fast to protect myself from passing out when I got the shot.

When I got there they were closed and I begged to get the shot because I could not take one more day of thinking about it. Oh and in my dream I also asked my parents to take me in case I did pass out. I didn't want to drive home. They refused and Keith couldn't take me so I went alone. The receptionist refused to let me in because they were closed but the nurse saw me and said she had time. At this point I felt rushed and stress from that alone.

She got the shot ready and I asked her if it was just the Td shot because I don't want the new Tdap vaccine that has the Pertussis protection. She said she was pretty sure it was just the Td. I asked to look at the bottle which was hard for me because I could see the needle sticking in it from where she started to draw it up. I couldn't tell and I was to nervous and just hoped it was the Td vaccine.

She injected it into my upper arm and I felt weird then very calm. Then she panicked because she made a mistake it was not the Tetanus vaccine she had injected me with but some rubbing alcohol and sterilizer mix. I still felt calm almost drunk and assumed it was from the rubbing alcohol that she just injected into me.

She was very concerned and wanted me to go to the hospital. I still felt calm but yet concerned that I could die. That is all I remember from the dream.

However today since I woke up at 3am I have been thinking a lot more about the tetanus shot and tetanus. I had to go out this morning and clean my car so my father can take it to get inspected at 9am. While I was walking to my car with a plastic bag to empty the ash tray and get rid of any stray trash I was having random thoughts like "It is muggy out I bet there is tetanus everywhere." "What if that squire just ran over and bit me" (The squire was sitting by a tree, eating some bread he had found.) Then when I was cleaning my car I was careful not to cut myself.

On the surface I know all these actions and thoughts are silly but nonetheless I have them and more so because of that dream that freaked me out.

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