Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Drift

The Drift is something that should be used with caution, as it can drive some people to insanity. It has been used over the centuries, mainly in pagan circles. Like the brainwashing techniques I spoke of in an earlier post, it is always important to know it is self imposed, you can stop at any point, though sometimes that may seem hard to do. This is not something you should play with lightly.

The Drift can be simple or complex, but always a journey. It is up to the user. It is best not to go looking for a point or have a goal in mind, that is why is it called The Drift. You are simply drifting, as if lost at sea in a raft. You have no idea where you are going, but you are traveling some place, where you don't know.

The Drift is used to bring yourself closer to universal knowledge or at least let the universe guide you in a direction, so it can whisper a secret to you. Usually the secret is something you always suspected deep down as a child or if not a secret it will guide you to a person or place. Usually a place you need to be or a person you need to meet.

The complex example of The Drift would be the following:

You are walking down the street and you see a pair of old shoes next to the trash that someone has thrown away. They happen to be your size. You then take off your shoes and put on that pair (A gift from the Universe to you), leaving your shoes in their place. You then walk down the street and see a News clipping blowing on the ground and in bold print you spot the word "Boston". You take yourself to the bus station, airport, train station, or your car, whatever, and travel to Boston. When you step out in the city you see a sign on a store that says "50% of all books.". You enter the store and walk around waiting for a sign and you notice a small child misbehaving, placing some books on the floor. You go over to the books, pick one up and buy it. You can keep going at that point or stop. Had you not seen that random News clipping that was only litter blowing around, you would not have seen the word "Boston", you would not be in that city, in that book store, now in possession of that book you just bought.

Example of the simple Drift: (Which for most is more favorable)

You go to YouTube and watch a video, when it ends it suggests the next video to watch. Pick the first choice offered and keep doing so video after video. When a choice comes up that you have already seen, choose the second choice. Go on and on. Each video is linked to the next. Anything learned is all a result of the first video you watched. Each video with its own unique message and teaching. Some bore you, some don't, on and on you go. You would be surprised how much you can learn in one day or how weeks or months later a topic will arise that you are only informed about because you Drifted.

The caution again is to remember you are in control. You can stop whenever you want. People with major OCD should not take part in The Drift. The Drift has features to it which are almost like schizophrenia. In some people who are schizophrenic, seemingly ordinary objects or information can hold deep meaning to them. To them it can be a sign meant only for them. This is why The Drift should be entered cautiously.

In my last post I said I would continue to post a list of what I have watched since my last blog update. I have continued the self brainwashing with horror films and added in The Drift. Each movie leading to the next. I am using the IMDB site. After I watch each film I go to the site's listing for that film and from that page it lists four other movies I might like. I then watch one of those suggestions and do the same after that movie... following the next suggestion.

Dead Silence --

Forget Me Not --

Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell --

Graphic Sexual Horror --

Deadly Friend --

An American Haunting --

Jesus in India --

Knight and Day --

House of Numbers --

Twilight --

The House of the Devil --

Night of the Comet --

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia --

Lorenzo's Oil --

The Madness of King George --

The Last House on the Left (1972) --

The Gift (2003) --

Paris Is Burning --

Needle --

Brothers (2009) --

The Graves (2009) --

Salt (2010) --

Gonzo (2008) --

Friday, December 24, 2010

How To Brainwash Yourself

In my last blog I mentioned my interest in brainwashing. In the past two years I noticed that it is possible to brainwash yourself. Maybe brainwash is not entirely the correct term, more like shift yourself around.

I learned that if you force yourself to watch that which you disagree with and you watch/listen/read about it long enough you can shape your thought patterns. You will no longer disagree with that which you hated. The key is to never get lost in your own brainwashing.

For example:

Lets say you are a Democrat. You are the type of person who likes the Huffington Post, Nancy Pelosi, MSNBC, you voted for Obama. For the sake of argument this is you. Now what you must do to brainwash yourself is cut it all out of your life. Download Republican podcasts, watch Fox News, listen to Michael Savage, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly. All of your free time should be saturated with Republican information.

At first it will be boring to you. It will make you angry. You will wonder.."How can they say that?", "How can anyone believe this?". As time goes on...a few weeks.. you will notice that you agree with some of their points, this will happen more and more. This is actually your brain making new a way it is making a new person. After about 2 to 3 months you will agree most of the time with them and actually start to view Democrats as stupid and weak. The longer you let this go on the more and more you will be completely brainwashed in the Republican propaganda and actually truly believe it.

This works both ways. A Republican can reverse it and do the same. So what is the point?

Well here is where you have to be careful. You can not allow the brainwashing to completely take hold or you risk the possibility of forgetting that you in fact did brainwash yourself. The point however is to take the time and force yourself to be brainwashed in one direction and then in the other direction later. Then stop. You are now free. You see the whole picture and you now no longer like either party, but equally hate both, seeing them for what they really are.

This can also be used as a tool to "deprogram" yourself from years of programs you don't even know you have. It can not be stressed enough that you must have willpower, you must fill your life with whatever it is that you are brainwashing yourself with and NEVER forget to remain aware that you are indeed brainwashing yourself. By remain aware I don't mean put a guard up to it or it will not take hold as fast, but I mean casually remember daily what you are doing to yourself.

Other useful ways to use this after you have taken the time to free yourself up from old programs is to play with your own personality and adjust your own mind to see what happens and who you become. Witness how you start to change and how your thought patterns are now different. The best way to change yourself is to saturate yourself with that which you hate. Hate Rap music? Listen to it all day long. Read about it online. I promise you will eventually love it and oh how boring Pop music will seem. Watch your attitude change and the choices you make as your mind prompts and draws you to that which you fill it with.

You are already being brainwashed all the time and are completely unaware of it. This way at least you pick the programs. You really can change everything by what you shove inside your head.

Now here is the exception. I like to called them "brain nodes". There are parts of you so embedded, so protected by the mind and such a deeply held belief it would take a lot longer to change them. How long I don't know because to date I have been unable to change my own "brain nodes". I will give an example:

You have a women who deeply believes in Jesus and the Church. To her any information to the contrary is in her mind from the Devil himself and the second doubt tries to slip in, her brain will keep discarding the information to "protect" itself from losing her Jesus. This like I said is the flaw in what I have learned. I would love to change or erase my own "brain nodes".

Some of my "brain nodes" are rooted in fears that I have. Long standing fears of 15+ years. They are very rooted in all aspects of my life, so to change those would take more effort on my part or a technique that I have yet to teach myself.

Don't believe me? Try it. Just remember do not try to change a "brain node" this way because it seems at this time it does not work. As soon as you see how malleable your brain is you will become hooked to changing it. The reward will be a more free mind, a clarity that little possess and others will have a harder time controlling you because you can spot the game much more quickly.

I am currently again doing this to myself. I always read books. This time I am bombarding myself with movies, mostly horror films. I am sticking a few non-horror in there if it serves a purpose to me, meaning the direction I want my brain to go. Here is what I have forced myself to watch in the past 36 hours:

And Soon the Darkness --

Inception --

Get Him to the Greek --

Religulous --

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World --

Kurt Cobain About a Son --

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter --

Dread --

Dark Mirror --

In my next blog I will post what else since this blog I have watched. For now all the light fluff is out of my life. No watching Wendy Williams, The View etc. No more books. Audio and Video will be used only. The audio if not horror related will be punk rock music.

**Warning** You are responsible for the direction you take your brain and there can be unwanted changes. For example you can start to be a more violent person, so monitor yourself and change things up if necessary.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Lost At Sea

Brainwashing has been an interest of mine for sometime, right up there with my interest in physical immortality.

As a child I always felt like I was observing people. I can remember being in grade school and seeing how many of my peers acted like animals, how they grouped off, and how each group had a role. How my family seemed very concerned with being embarrassed and would put on this fake act. Like on Sundays we would go to church and my parents would often argue all the way there, about what I can't remember, but soon as they passed through the doors of the church it was all smiles and "Ohhh hi how are you!?". Then it was "Don't stand with your arms crossed, you look sick, what will people think?"

There have been these events in my life, which to others may not have caused the same effect upon them as it has me. After all I seem to have been born somewhat of an observer anyway. I do remember the more I was teased by my peers growing up and the more tense my household was the worse this observation/awareness got. By worse I mean I went deeper into my mind and would see more differences not only in others, but myself.

However back then I was able to go in and out of "reality". By that I mean I was not in a constant observer/aware state. I would still lose myself in the moment and forget. Like when I was hanging out with friends, during puberty when hormones kicked in that was an easy distraction, while shopping or busy at school. I could also distract myself with things and trying to accumulate money. Then I would remember.."Oh yeah...I am human...I am me."

It wasn't that bad back then though. I would not be in my head for periods of time. Then came an event that would pull me further out of "reality" or at least what passes for what people consider reality, lung surgery. I am not sure what it was about that event. Maybe the pain it caused that morning I woke up and went to the ER or maybe because I faced mortality, maybe the reaction or lack thereof of others, maybe all of it. I was 24 years old (year 2000) and at the time I was doing what many 24 year olds do, hanging with friends, hooking up and buying designer clothes. I had this vision in my mind during that time of all the suffering in the world and how selfish it was for me to spend $90 on a pair of jeans. It was not needed at all. Since that time I stopped buying designer anything (In fact I don't buy much of anything) and I would say the most expensive jeans I buy now are $20 if that. They look the same anyway. They only miss having a "label", that all important name the masses crave.

Next trigger for me was 9/11/2001. It was a shock for most people. The events of that day soon after didn't sit right for me and something felt off about it. If you have ever had a lucid dream you know there is that trigger where suddenly you are like "Oh...wait that doesn't make sense...I am just dreaming." Then you have your lucid dream. You are wide awake in your dream and have full control or almost full control. That is how that event was for me. Like a waking up and further pushing my mind into this weird state of awareness.

The last and most significant event for me was benzo withdrawal, which if you watched my video was hell on earth. Even I didn't think I would make it through that. I eventually felt that was it and I was going to be lost in that demented sea of terror that I would never escape from.

That brings me to now and here is the problem or gift depending on how you look at it. I can no longer relate to very many people at all. Sure I can play the role and no one is the wiser. I look and seem completely normal, but nothing is the same. As I said above I use to be able to lose myself in the moment. To "forget" what I know in the core of my being for a time. Now and for the past two years there has been no escaping that. I am just in this perpetual state from the time I wake till the time I sleep. From what I can tell it is also occurring in my dream state.

Some people I have opened up too about it have said maybe it is depersonalization. After looking that up I can say it is not that at all. It doesn't fit. I can't even really put words to what it is that I am experiencing, so to completely explain it to someone who has never had this would be almost impossible I have found. I suspect that someone reading this who is in this state would spot it right away and maybe even be thankful that there are others out there like this. One person sort of nailed it by saying "It is like you are a ghost, just here, but not part of any of it." That is close to how it feels.

It is not something that causes me distress or even something I wish to get rid of. The only downside is I feel alone. Not alone in a depression sort away, but alone because I have to act to seem interested in what most people tell me.

Facebook is one of the worst places for me to sit, yet I do daily. The mundane plays out at a rapid pace there. People posting about the pain they are in because they lost their greatest love, even though they only met a week ago. The running like ants to brunch, clubs, dinner. Come Monday morning the posts swarm with old cliches about how its "just another manic Monday" or "Hi ho, hi oh it's off to work I go.". Saturday night around 3am the posts start with how drunk they are and how upset they are about life, upset about what someone did or said or how they are going to just cry themselves to sleep. The next morning when sober those posts are usually deleted. Most people on my Facebook added me and we never speak. They know very little about me. I however know too much about them, their girlfriends, boyfriends, family, jobs, home life. Weekly I feel like deleting it, but instead I torture myself by staying and post yet more news stories on certain topics like a distress call in the dark hoping a person just like me takes a bite. I am looking for them as I am sure they are looking for me. Then again maybe they wised up and just deleted it.

I see roles being played out by people all the time. Many roles are set in authority/servant order. This plays out all over the place....manager, police, doctor, lawyer, judge. There is this whole system of hierarchy that we humans play. It is like a giant beehive we are all in only not many notice the hive. The other roles become sub-roles. Punk rocker, emo, club kid, rebel, woman of God, pure, innocent, partier, whore etc. None of the roles are bad in themselves. The problem is most seem to get lost in the role. They believe it and any challenge to it brings anger. Nothing brings anger more than pointing out something to someone who is so deeply locked in the system and needs the system so much they buy into all of it. Then anything you say they attack like a viper. You to them are the problem. They do not see that they are a slave kept in check by all the other slaves, each locked in this role that they are not even aware of.

I guess the only other negative to this state I am in is that I can feel every freaking heartbeat I have. Slow, fast..whatever, there it is beating in my chest. I can count it while I am sitting, walking or laying down. Thankfully I am learning to tune it out. There is nothing like having that thing thumping in your chest all the time. It is annoying.

One new age person told me that maybe what I am experiencing is enlightenment. I doubt it. To me enlightenment would bring peace and comfort. I don't have that. I am just aware. I still have fears like others. I still get angry. I just don't think enlightenment would carry that burden.

Well this is long enough. I started out talking about brainwashing, but never got around to it. I will write more on that topic later.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Beths life with lung cancer

Beth is short on money due to her illness, expenses and insurance coverage. If you would like to help get her grandchildren some Christmas gifts this year you can do so by going to her Amazon Wish List. Thank You.

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Police State Continues To Put Up Its Grid

I know many people don't bother to read books anymore. However, this is an easy read and if you have never read it it is well worth your time and will open your mind to what is happening. 1984 (Signet Classics) (Mass Market Paperback)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Chef Boyardee You Like?

I really dislike going to the supermarket. One of the reasons is because to be honest I am out of breath a lot and feel like crap, so that in itself is a hassle to lug around groceries. However the other reason I dislike going is because I do not shop like most people. So that brings comments either from the people who work there or from people shopping themselves.

I will give some examples:

I got a hand held basket of cucumbers and celery once. My goal was to juice it all before it expired and drink it all over a period of a few days. This of course drew some guy to me who was not even in line. He just wandered over. "You a vegetarian?" with a disappointing tone (yeah because that is the only thing vegetarians eat is tons of cucumbers and celery). Ummm WFT? Go away. That time I actually was in a mood and did not answer him at all. He stood there for 10 seconds looking at me and then walked away when he realized I was not actually going to speak.

I like to blend a lot of fresh fruit. So I had this time purchased a bunch of fruit. The cashier asked me "Wheres the party at?". I said "I just like fruit."

Tonight I went because frankly with the cost of food rising I can not afford to eat the "good stuff" all the time now. So I make due. I had this idea. OK for some reason Chef Boyardee does not make me feel sick, so let me stock up on that while it is still 92 cents a can. Also let me get about 100 cans of low sodium vegetables that I can blend and drink. It takes years for this stuff to expire and if we get an ice storm I don't have to worry about heating frozen vegetables or them spoiling from not being able to keep them cool if the power goes out. Side note: General Mills who makes a lot of canned goods is going to be using liners in the cans starting next year that are BPA free. So yay..for now anyway.

Once in the store tonight I decided that maybe 30 cans would be enough to start with because after all I have to carry all this stuff up to my apartment. So I gathered 30 cans of Chef Boyardee. After seeing it I agreed to myself that yes this was best to break my shopping into several trips.

I get in line..well there was no is 3am after all. I have 30 cans. I lay them on the conveyor belt. The cashier shouts "I need help!!". As if no one has ever purchased 30 items before. Some guy trucks himself over and lets out this giant sigh because he now has to bag 30 items. Then with hand on her hip she says in a loud voice "Yo, shoo like Chef Boyardee..Doncha!". I just said "It is cheaper here." not really answering the question, got my receipt and left.

It reminds me of the days when I was an active alcoholic. I would have to very often take myself to the store at 8am to get a 12 pack of beer for the day. I would get in line and then be asked by the cashier "Isn't it a bit early to buy beer?" That always bothered me because if it is legal to buy it then who the hell cares and also how do you know I am going to go right home and guzzle it down? (which I was going to, but that is besides the point). One time I just said "I am having a bad decade." she said "Oh."

I should buy 100 cans of beets and just stand in line looking wild eyed and soon as she starts to ring me out say in a half crazed voice "When is your next shipment coming in??!!"

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Drugs linked to brain damage 30 years ago

Drugs linked to brain damage 30 years ago

MPs and campaigners predict class action after failures to mount full-scale research into warnings left millions of patients at risk

By Nina Lakhani

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Secret documents reveal that government-funded experts were warned nearly 30 years ago that tranquillisers that were later prescribed to millions of people could cause brain damage.

The Medical Research Council (MRC) agreed in 1982 that there should be large-scale studies to examine the long-term impact of benzodiazepines after research by a leading psychiatrist showed brain shrinkage in some patients similar to the effects of long-term alcohol abuse.

However, no such work was ever carried out into the effects of drugs such as Valium, Mogadon and Librium – and doctors went on prescribing them to patients for anxiety, stress, insomnia and muscle spasms.

For the rest of the article please visit The Independent by clicking this link.

Brain Damage from Benzodiazepines

Brain Damage from Benzodiazepines

Brain Damage from Benzodiazepines: The Troubling Facts, Risks, and History of Minor Tranquilizers
Psychiatrists have long known that benzodiazepines can cause brain damage
Published on November 18, 2010

Last week, Britain's Independent newspaper published a bombshell for psychiatry and medicine: the country's Medical Research Council had sat on warnings 30 years earlier that benzodiazepines such as Valium and Xanax can cause brain damage. As 11.5 million prescriptions for these drugs were issued in 2008 in Britain alone, I focused on the consequences of the cover-up for the millions affected.

Given the feedback I received from numerous patients in Britain and the States attesting to their profound difficulties in quitting such medication, as well as their impairment from the drugs many years later, I want to retrace the drugs' controversial history, to help explain why the suppression of evidence about their side effects is deservedly national news in Britain, and why it should be here in the States, too.

Concern about the adverse effects of this group of drugs dates to the 1970s, when vast numbers of people began taking them for stress and anxiety. Once the most popular minor tranquilizers in Britain, the U.S., and much of Europe, benzodiazepines ("benzos" for short) include such household names as Valium, Xanax, Librium, Ativan, and Klonopin.

Between 2002 and 2007, the number of U.S. prescriptions for them grew from 69 million to 83 million. Their popularity trailed off in the 1980s and 1990s, when Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil and other SSRI antidepressants outsold them as "blockbuster" drugs—so-named because their annual revenues surpassed $1 billion. But benzos actually made a comeback earlier this decade, due in part to the highly successful marketing of Xanax for more than just Panic Disorder.

For the rest of the 2 page article please click the link to Psychology Today

FBI creating police state: Paul Craig Roberts