Saturday, December 4, 2010

Chef Boyardee You Like?

I really dislike going to the supermarket. One of the reasons is because to be honest I am out of breath a lot and feel like crap, so that in itself is a hassle to lug around groceries. However the other reason I dislike going is because I do not shop like most people. So that brings comments either from the people who work there or from people shopping themselves.

I will give some examples:

I got a hand held basket of cucumbers and celery once. My goal was to juice it all before it expired and drink it all over a period of a few days. This of course drew some guy to me who was not even in line. He just wandered over. "You a vegetarian?" with a disappointing tone (yeah because that is the only thing vegetarians eat is tons of cucumbers and celery). Ummm WFT? Go away. That time I actually was in a mood and did not answer him at all. He stood there for 10 seconds looking at me and then walked away when he realized I was not actually going to speak.

I like to blend a lot of fresh fruit. So I had this time purchased a bunch of fruit. The cashier asked me "Wheres the party at?". I said "I just like fruit."

Tonight I went because frankly with the cost of food rising I can not afford to eat the "good stuff" all the time now. So I make due. I had this idea. OK for some reason Chef Boyardee does not make me feel sick, so let me stock up on that while it is still 92 cents a can. Also let me get about 100 cans of low sodium vegetables that I can blend and drink. It takes years for this stuff to expire and if we get an ice storm I don't have to worry about heating frozen vegetables or them spoiling from not being able to keep them cool if the power goes out. Side note: General Mills who makes a lot of canned goods is going to be using liners in the cans starting next year that are BPA free. So yay..for now anyway.

Once in the store tonight I decided that maybe 30 cans would be enough to start with because after all I have to carry all this stuff up to my apartment. So I gathered 30 cans of Chef Boyardee. After seeing it I agreed to myself that yes this was best to break my shopping into several trips.

I get in line..well there was no is 3am after all. I have 30 cans. I lay them on the conveyor belt. The cashier shouts "I need help!!". As if no one has ever purchased 30 items before. Some guy trucks himself over and lets out this giant sigh because he now has to bag 30 items. Then with hand on her hip she says in a loud voice "Yo, shoo like Chef Boyardee..Doncha!". I just said "It is cheaper here." not really answering the question, got my receipt and left.

It reminds me of the days when I was an active alcoholic. I would have to very often take myself to the store at 8am to get a 12 pack of beer for the day. I would get in line and then be asked by the cashier "Isn't it a bit early to buy beer?" That always bothered me because if it is legal to buy it then who the hell cares and also how do you know I am going to go right home and guzzle it down? (which I was going to, but that is besides the point). One time I just said "I am having a bad decade." she said "Oh."

I should buy 100 cans of beets and just stand in line looking wild eyed and soon as she starts to ring me out say in a half crazed voice "When is your next shipment coming in??!!"

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