I wanted to go with Keith to Montreal. I don't think I will be able to go to Montreal this year because my state of mind is so mess up. It is more messed up than normal over the past six month. So much so I wonder sometimes if I am losing my mind.
I am in a fixation on the tetanus shot more so than normal today. I use to walk around the house with socks on now I wear slippers all the time to prevent my feet from getting cut so I don't get tetanus. I hate the thoughts because both equally scare me. I am scared of the vaccine and I am scared of the illness. (my last tetanus shot was when I was 10 years old maybe 7 years old. I am now 32)
I know I am going to get that stupid shot in the fall so why I am so concerned about it right this second is beyond me. I actually view that future date as the day I will die or have a bad reaction/faint/seizure. I guess I am stressed the same way someone would feel stressed if they knew Nov. 23rd of this year they would die. (random date I have no clue when I am getting that shot)
I wish it was the fall already so I could just get the damn shot and be done with it. I just won't do it in the summer for several reasons but mainly I want cold air when I come out of the doctors office.
I am forcing myself to eat healthy again. I am also going to force myself to start going for walks. I figure the more healthy I am should I have a reaction maybe my body would be better equipped to deal with it if my body was in better shape.