Well I went to the Doctor. No big developments. She was nice and listen. Wanted to up my dose of Xanax, then wanted to put me on Zoloft a low does of 50mg which I told her wasn't low. If I was willing to do Zoloft it would be 25mg. She chuckled.
She wanted to give me the tetanus vaccine today but I told her I couldn't because if I pass out I have no one to take me home and explained why I wanted to wait till the fall because if I fainted I don't want to deal with the summer heat after.
She listened, was at a loss as to what to do for me. Asked if I wanted Paxil since I brought it up even though I was scared of it. I told her yes but wasn't sure if I was going to take it.
Dropped the prescription off at the pharmacy. They have to order it and will call me when it comes in in a day or two.
Oh and I did give her a 7 page print out about needle phobia. She calms she will read it. I also told her about the crying and the obsessive thinking about tetanus, my fears over the vaccine and my weight loss (I have lost 15 lbs. over the past few months).
The worse part is there really isn't anything they can do anyway besides drugs.
Ok so my mom just called me back from work to see how it went at the doctors office most statements were "I just don't know what to do" "maybe you belong in a mental hospital" that last statement pissed me off what the fuck?
She said "well what did she say about the weight loss" nothing seriously if I have been this nervous is it really any mystery? The mental hospital statement was so they "could talk to me and give me meds". Why the fuck would I take meds like magic in a mental hospital? Unless they were forced. And is the fucking doctor there going to wave his magic wand and cure me because its in a fucking mental hospital? And I would like to know without insurance who the hell is going to pay for my fun trip the a mental hospital?...jesus wtf