Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Today my heart is acting up again. It is 111 beats a minute at rest and about 138 beats standing. I walked on the treadmill today for the first time since April 1st when I almost fainted after using it. I only walked for 5 mins at 2mph and my heart rate went to 150 and I felt a little breathless. My goal is to increase it by 1 minute a day if I can.

The cardiologist said I can walk on the treadmill and that my heart is fine so whatever I will.

I have not been able to eat much for the past 2 days, but I am trying.

I made the mistake of going on facebook the other day to look up people I went to school with and old friends. I felt depressed after. They all had lives and seem happy and here I sit sick. Not only that, but my anxiety problems to begin with have kept me from having a real life for a long time. My whole life is just passing me by and I find that depressing.

I tried to find the people that picked on me for years in school, but oddly they don't have a facebook. I wanted to see if their life turned out good. I secretly hoped it hadn't, but then I don't want bad karma so I wish them the best.

My mom goes to see the oncologist Friday, so she will find out soon when she will be starting her chemo.

I called social services yet again today since they never return my calls and actually got a hold of someone there and setup a phone interview for June 10th at 11am. I also called my therapist who I was suppose to see this Saturday, but she said that the person she was waiting on to call back did and took the slot. So now I don't see her till Wed. of next week. I also called my old primary care doctor to see if I could get my medical records transfered to the new doctor and they said it will cost me 75 cents a sheet. When I asked how many sheets I had she huffed and said she would transfer me to medical records. I left a message, they have not called back yet. The woman that huffed is a real bitch. She is always so rude when you go to that office to check in.


Anonymous said...

That is always my one major bitch about going to the Dr.'s office. Not the Doc or nurses- it's the damned reception people & staff who have a stick up their butt. There was one such lady at my cardiologists who was like that. I complained about her a few times and guess what? She is no longer there! So, Hah! And to the lady who huffed at you.. Pfffft! Monkey razberries and tossing poo at her. LOL

Be well, Brian and take care- as always. Will write ya soon.


Mike said...

Hi Brian, Sorry to hear about your troubles. You may not remember me but I remember you. We didn't really know each other very well.

I just added myself as a "Fan" on your site atomic811#mychat.

Not sure exactly how that works but feel free to contact me to chat if you would like.