I Am Just Waiting

I went to the post office this morning and mailed the $20 off to Cambodia. The person at the post office said it should take five days to get there. How long it takes to get to him after it arrives I don't know. He is going to email me when he gets it or just tell me online since we are chatting everyday.

Before I went to the post office I addressed the next letter to him which he does not know about yet and put $10 in it for him. I am waiting to see how long it takes him to get the letter I sent out this morning then when he does I will mail the next.

I would like to start doing one positive thing to help someone everyday. I am unsure how I am going to go about doing that but for starters we have some clothes we don't wear anymore and I could clean them up and put them in a bin by a church about a mile from here that takes clothes donations.

Several years ago I mailed our old clothes to Kenya in Africa. That was expensive to ship. $80 and that was the cheapest way to send it (by ship). It took half a year to get to the church I mailed it to in Kenya. I mailed another box of clothes to a different country in Africa soon after I sent the one to Kenya but I never heard from that place. I do not know if it ever arrived.

I got on this kick of helping people when I was living in FL. That is when I mailed the boxes of clothes to Africa. Sure I could have just dropped them off at the Salvation Army or Goodwill but where was the fun in that. Some how knowing my clothes were on a ship heading for Africa was a lot more exciting.

While in FL I also went to Netgrocer.com and ordered food and had it shipped to a food pantry in Colorado. I also order two vacuum cleaners and had them shipped to a safe haven for boys in Alaska. I had a job back then so it seemed more fun then buying a new cell phone. Oh and one of my favorite things I sent was to an orphanage in Mississippi. I mailed them a DVD player. I ordered it off Walmart.com and had it shipped directly there. They sent me a letter thanking me and said they were hoping to get a DVD player for one of there classrooms and now they had one. That was cool.

Many times I feel like I have no purpose in life or just not sure what I am really supose to be doing so I just do random acts of kindness till I figure it out. Or maybe that is what I am suppose to be doing. Who knows.

Keith got our cat Timo a new toy yesterday filled with catnip so the cat is happy. Timo was rolling around the floor last night acting like a kitten.

Today I am just sitting here watching videos on youtube about Near Death Experiences both good and bad. On and off I am having worries about having a Tetanus shot this fall. I try to keep myself busy but my mind always seems to pop in and disturb me. I am use to it I mean it has been going on for at least 17 years...maybe my whole life I am not sure.

Sometimes therapists ask me why dying scares me. It is really because I don't feel done yet. I feel sometimes like I am waiting for something. That something being whatever it is I am suppose to be doing with my life...only I have no clue what that is yet.