Sleep Clinic

I went to the sleep clinic yesterday for my consultation. The people there were actually really nice.

So, they have me keeping track of my sleep on a chart for a few weeks and then I go back to see them on the 28th of January. I guess from that point they will tell me when the sleep study will be. They said they want to get me sleeping better first. They don't use medication, so that is good.

They tried to look down my throat with a mirror, but couldn't and was going to put a tube up my nose and down my throat instead, but I declined because I was worried if I fainted or had a reaction to the numbing spray no one was there. She said it wasn't a big deal anyway and they would maybe just do it another time. I think I would have been fine, but since I get freaked out by stuff like that, I just didn't want to faint since no one was with me that could drive after.

When I do the sleep study it will take 30 minutes to wire me up. They will be measuring my heart, breathing and brain waves, also the level of sleep I am in and how long I am in REM.

Over all so far they were nice, the 28th I see the "sleep psychologist", so I don't know how that will be. They do think I have a circadian rhythm and there is a decent chance I have sleep apnea.

I never updated about the pulmonologist I saw. I went and I was explaining everything that is going on, both with my heart and with my breathing issues. At first it was going good. He was listening, writing everything down and asking questions. I though OK good. I didn't dare mention the xanax because I know right away that will end any help I will get. Then he turns his computer on to look at my chart and sure enough he pulls up my March 5th 2009 ER report [That was the first ER I went too, the one that told me to "eat pizza" when I had been throwing up for weeks]. I saw things like "history of agoraphobia", "claims paxil gave him a panic attack [which by the way I never said to them at all], "took himself off xanax [it was worded like I just decided to stop and never discussed it with a doctor, which I had and I tapered.]. Anyway from that point on I might as well just had left. He informed me that benzo withdrawal lasts four days and I am thinking "Are you fucking kidding me? Even all the fools I have dealt with even admit it lasts a month.". Four days?? Yeah OK. I really don't know who tells them this and where they get these ideas, esp. since their own studies show differently.

So to "ease my mind" I am going to have a breathing test done on Jan. 20th. I told him how when I mildly exercise how fast my heart goes and how it takes a long time to recover. He said "Well, I could do a stress test, but I don't think I would find anything, so I am not inclined too." Seriously?

Anyway, so I have the breathing test the 20th. I see the gastro doctor on the 25th and then the sleep psychologist on the 28th.

I have a lot of concerns about the gastro doctor because their are tests I might need that I do not feel safe having at this time, yet I also do not feel safe not having them. For example I have a constant sick feeling in my stomach...inside it feels aggravated and raw. Also the colon issues I am having with the left side pain. I am not very comfortable having these scopes because 1) Stuff like that does cause me anxiety and worry. 2) I don't like the risks involved. 3) They would sedate me for these tests and that could cause the benzo problem to flare back up in me because it has not been 2 years yet..that would be a nightmare, back at square one with everyone telling me "Its not the benzo". I mean I just gained back all the weight I dropped and I have enough problems without something like that happening again. At the same time these problems are getting pretty bad and my mother's father did get stomach cancer around my age and was dead at 40. I think if my digestive system felt better I would feel so much better as well. I don't know what to do when it comes to that.

On a different note my mother finally called me yesterday to see how the sleep clinic went. I have decided though that I will mainly let her just call me when she wants to talk because I know when I call her half the time she is in some mood or acts like I am bothering her.