Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Going to see a therapist tomorrow

Yesterday, I made an appointment with a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, also in the building they are staffed with psychiatrists. I have an appointment tomorrow at 12:15pm.

My goal is to get someone to believe what has happened to me and what is still happening to me because, then, I could maybe get a letter to a doctor that could state something like "We believe that this is not psychological, but a physiological problem.". Then, a "professional" would have stated that it is not being caused by anxiety and then maybe they would treat me better and more aggressivly look into what I have been telling them.

Also, I have a lot of issues outside some anxiety disorder that has been blown larger than life by doctors. I would like to discuss my relationship issues that I have with my boyfriend, my family issues, how it is to live as sick as I am, how to come to terms with the reality of my life, how to cope with going through all these medical tests and how to cope when and if something is found depending on what it is. Also, how to set up a support system.

I also fear my medicaid will be canceled soon and I think maybe they could give me a note stating I am unable to work at this time.

If this place is not for me I might try some place else.

I made a list this morning that I plan of taking with me to the Gastro appointment on the 25th of Jan. because even I won't remember it all or be able to get everything out in the 10 minutes I will be given. I tried to keep it as short as possible. Below is what I have:

Pale bowel color on and off since 2007 (Dec. 2007 had an ultrasound of my gallbladder and liver area, that test came back normal as did my liver enzyme test) [The pale bowel color happens a lot less now that I am off Xanax and never happened before I took Xanax.]

During taper from Xanax and for 5 Months after (Jan 21st - July 2009) I vomited often, could not hold down food. Lost 30 lbs. During the same time I had bad cramps in my lower left colon and diarrhea. {Had been on xanax for a little over a year and have had anxiety for 18 years, this was NOT anxiety nor "rebound anxiety" coming off that pill made me sicker than I have EVER felt before.

Treated with Prevpac July 20th - Aug 3rd. to treat H. Pylori positive blood test done on March 28th 2009

Diarrhea became worse after Prevpac treatment Aug 3rd-Sept 20th 2009

Quit smoking Sept 18th 2009 shortly after quitting became constipated with pencil thin stool. Lower left side colon pain that comes and goes lasting a few days here and there.

Started taking Metamucil in Oct 2009- current. When I stopped I become constipated again. So I returned to taking it.

I have not seen blood and have seen no black stool.

In Sept. 1994 I had a sigmoidoscopy by my primary care doctor. He said "looks like you have a little colitis" in my medical chart it stated "Colitis vs. Chrohn's" because he wasn't sure. Six months later for unknown reasons he decided on Ulcertive colitis. After the sigmoidoscopy I was put on azulfidine and metamucil for a year. Any time I had cramping or bowel complains after that I was told I had IBS and it was all from anxiety.

Aug 2000 had Lung surgery for congenital lobar emphysema.

Current Symptoms:

I feel like my stomach is irritated and my throat burns often. This became worse after taking the prevpac.

Lower left colon pain/irritation.

I have a high standing pulse rate 110-120 standing, up from a sitting rate of 75 this happens often, but not all the time. I have a very high heart rate {140+} in the shower. After showers I often get gurgling in my stomach and sometimes loose stool. Takes an hour for my heart to come back down. This does not scare me I just know it is not normal.

After I eat my heart races and when my stomach is aggravated or my throat is burning my heart rate also races at times to 95-105bpm. Sometimes after eating I am getting an anxiety like reaction that passes an hour or so after I eat.

When I first stand up or sit down at times I get a very hard slow pounding heart beat and feel breathless for 15 seconds then it stops.


Marie said...

Cool Beans! Just make sure you stay open to what they have to say.

Marie said...

oh and stick with the therapy. It will take more than 1 2 or 10 times for them to help.

Anonymous said...

It amazes me that anyone who has bothered to read this whole blog would still think all of your problems are mental. So personally I don't know what you are suppose to remain "open to".

Marie said...

I just simply meant stay open to everything the therapist has to stay. Do not go in and expect them to say what you want to hear. If you do that you might miss out on something awesome.

Brian Underwood said...

That wasn't me replying to you that was someone else commenting on your comment. I went she was ok, I will see her a few more times and find a new one if I need. I am sure there are good ones out there.