tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196404387912484970.post2889798624535606978..comments2023-04-03T02:31:17.536-07:00Comments on Brian Baxter: The LetterBrian Baxterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05834342076071299847noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196404387912484970.post-14773654871337826622010-01-19T17:32:49.352-08:002010-01-19T17:32:49.352-08:00I completely understand what you are saying. I hav...I completely understand what you are saying. I have no idea why she has become this way other than the fact that chemo has seemed to change her. My father, now retired, being around her all the time I am sure is not helping. <br /><br />It is so hard for me to even post my personal problems with my parents because since they pay my bills I am left looking like some spoiled brat. After all they pay my bills I should just get over the lack of compassion or personal help one would expect from a parent.<br /><br />I have a lot of guilt and have to live with the fact that if my mom just dies that this is how it all ends. At the same time I know I am sick and I can't pretend I am not nor allow people to tell me this is all anxiety or in my head.<br /><br />If I could change anything I would never have taken that pill. I have more to say about the POTs sometime. If that is what I have, I think it was my lung surgery that caused it back in 2000 and the xanax withdrawal just blew it off the charts. If that is what is wrong. It is only my best guess at this point. <br /><br />I have had to do all this alone. If you remember I even lied to the ER docs and told them to check me for H. Pylori and that came back positive. I don't make all this up. I am scared some people who read this think I might be lying sometimes about how bad it is.<br /><br />I am considering getting a copy of all my medical records and blocking out personal info, but posting them so people know I am not just some crazy making this up. I have been accused of being a Scientologist because they are anti-psych drugs.Brian Baxterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05834342076071299847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3196404387912484970.post-53387202003873703752010-01-19T16:33:38.237-08:002010-01-19T16:33:38.237-08:00Bri.
The lack of sympathy, understanding or hell....Bri. <br />The lack of sympathy, understanding or hell.. even human empathy you are getting from your parents is heartbreaking to me. <br /><br />When i listened to your moms voice mail where she says "God!" at the end of it.. honestly- and with all due respect to you.. i just want to shake her and shake her hard. I don't even know the lady and it made me FURIOUS! WTF does she think she is suppposed to treat her sick son like?? Jesus F'ing Christ- lady. Wow. Unfuckingreal.<br />Ok sorry.. that one just got to me. <br /><br />Brian- i do wish there were something i could do beyond the occasional kind words and sincere well wishes and hugz sent via e-mail from this semi-stranger/friend that i am. <br /><br />I myself have family issues and have made myself virtually an orphan because of it.. so yeah, i understand in alot of ways. I know she is your mother and you love her- but good Lordy how i'd love to just give her an earful on just simple human compassion that she and your father seemingly lack. <br /><br />Seriously. Please don't be angry that i feel this way about your mother. I'm sure she is (or once was) a very kind lady but for some reason she has let your father's disdain and resentment for you cloud her love and sympathy for her own son. Too sad, my friend. <br /><br />Please know that my words are meant in the most heartfelt way not as an insult.. and i understand complicated family shit too. You have- and always will have my utmost regards and understanding, Brian. <br />I don't know what else to say, except that i wish i were in a position to help you more. <br /><br />Do take care and keep us posted, as always. You know how to reach me if need be. <br /><br />Big fat (((monkey hugz))) to you, guy. Take care. <br />Cheers,<br />EddieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com